Because of Love

I’ve been on a spiritual journey of sorts lately. Basically I’m just trying to figure out how all of the many things I believe fit together. You see, I was raised in a variety of churches – none of them really instilled any sense of purpose or belonging in my young soul. And as I grew up, developing more of an explorative spirit – not to mention rebellious, I found myself searching for truths. In searching for those truths, I discovered the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You may be more familiar with the term Mormons. And at the point in my life that I stumbled across this religion, I was ready to embrace just about anything that would give me the answers I sought. In retrospect, perhaps I should have asked more questions of others and of myself, before committing to a set of beliefs.

I joined the Church at the age of 24 and jumped in not only with both feet but with 300% effort. And then after a good many bumps, a detour and a perceived road block or 2, I decided to leave the Church. At that point, leaving the Church took a whole lot more effort than joining actually did. Without sharing all of the details, I purposely set about being excommunicated – trying to severe all ties to this Church. Only to discover even that is not so easy.

You see, one of the core beliefs of the Church as I understand it is that man can become as God is. The Church teaches of eternal families and degrees of exaltation. It teaches of things to come if only we will act in accordance to the teachings of Christ. In other words, it teaches us how to return to our Heavenly Father – to return to Heaven. But there has to be something more. Something in my understanding that I was missing because I readily threw away the teachings of the Church and decided I could have my own relationship with God regardless of any building or set of leaders. Or can I? What is it that was so important in that basic teaching that man can be as God is that was making me continue to question my own beliefs?

The author of one of the blogs I read summed it up very nicely. And I so appreciate his perspective. With his permission, I quote:

“I came to the conclusion that utterly unselfish and all-encompassing love is what sets God apart from man. To find joy, one needs to have that love. But we are humans and we experience a very finite portion of what love is, by necessity of our existence. But we can progress by experiencing love in all of its dimensions: love of the stranger, love of parents and siblings, love of a friend, love of living things, etc... but in that there are two types of love that are intense and different, love of a companion and love of your children. Experiencing all and understanding all is what helps us progress to finding that utterly unselfish and all-encompassing love...

and thus heaven.”

If you want to read more of what he wrote, you can find it here.

Thank you, Trey, for summing it up so nicely. The most important things I’ve learned through my experiences with the Church are about family and about love. The reason I latched on so quickly to the teachings of the Church was because of the idea of a loving Father in Heaven who did not damn his children to eternal hell if they weren’t perfect enough (although I know some who would say that not reaching the celestial kingdom is its own kind of hell) – because of love. The reason I fought so hard to have and to maintain a relationship with my children following my divorce (and all of the chaos which has happened in between) was because of love. The reason we all seek a partner in life isn’t because we don’t know how to be alone but because we’re seeking from a primal need to nurture and be nurtured – because of love.

I still don’t have all of the answers I seek. Perhaps I never will. But this I know for sure. I will value the love I give as well as the love I receive. For truly, being able to experience love in all of its forms puts us another step closer to Heaven. And that idea is what drives me to continue to find answers to my questions – because of love.