Another Month of Loving

It hardly seems an entire month has passed by since I posted last. Alas, but it has. It's not that there was no loving going on during that month, but so much of it that it left little time to expound on my thoughts about loving the people in my life.

Probably the highlight was a visit from my father. Now visits from my father are something that just don't happen. Ever. He might tell me where he is planning to be from time to time, and if I'd like to see him I should feel welcome to drop in on his plans, but for him to schedule a specific time to come to my home and participate in a specific event with my children - well it just never happened before now. And I am so tickled that he did make it.

My son had his cross over from Cub Scouts into Boy Scouts and my father proudly proclaimed his intent to attend this ceremony. With fingers crossed and breath held, I waited until I knew for certain that he was on his way before allowing myself to believe he was really going to make it. You see, not only was my father not around (physically) for most of my growing up years, he had a knack for making promises that weren't kept. I did not want to build up the hopes of my children only to have their hopes dashed. This was to be a special day for my son and I did not want it overshadowed with the disappointment I had come to expect from my father.

It's difficult to express how much healing occurred in our relationship because of this trip. We had a chance to talk and share feelings that have gone unspoken for way too many years. I had a chance to see my father in a whole new light. To see him as a man who keeps his promises - because he has kept every promise he's made for the past couple of years. I've learned to listen to his heart, not just listen with my ears.

I think I have a lot left to learn about my father and about the kind of man he has become. And I hope I take those best lessons he has taught, by example if not word, about being a better parent and about the second chances life has to offer.

Yes, I love my father. I always have, even when I was disappointed. I just pray that we'll have enough time together know for me to get better acquainted with this man I call "Daddy". For now I'll settle for another month of loving.