Insanity
I believe in a woman's ability to choose her own path when it comes to reproductive rights. I'm pro-choice (as it pertains to the woman makes the choice based on her own morals or medical needs, not as it pertains to would I have one), I am thankful for IUI and IVF technologies that have made it possible for women to become mothers who would otherwise be unable to have children, and I can appreciate the selfless act of love it takes to place a child for adoption or to act as a surrogate. But with every right comes a responsibility - just ask my 12 year old son who is studying his rights and responsbilities as a citizen.
The news from California about an unemployed, single parent of 6 (some of whom has special needs) undergoing infertility treatments to wind up as the unemployed, single parent of 14 with no home of her own and still children with special needs is one of those things that has me scratching my head.
I believe that any potential parent - single, married, working, disabled, unemployed, fertile, infertile - needs to fully evaluate not only their desire to have children but their ability to meet the needs of any potential child(ren). The Lord commanded Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply but I don't believe He gave the commandment so that procreative powers could be used on a whim. And certainly, if we know that basic needs (shelter, food, clothing, health) cannot be met we should be extremely cautious in bringing new life into the world. It's up to each parent to decide if they feel they are prepared physically, financially and psychologically for the task of parenting.
The part that really gets to me isn't that she has been getting food stamps or government grants. It has very little to do with her living with her parents or her having filed bankruptcy. Those things are a part of life and no matter how much we plan ahead, sometimes things happen in families where it becomes necessary to receive some kind of help. The part that just eats at my heart is that she wanted to have all of these kids so that they wouldn't feel lonely like she did. Huh? I really hope that someone explains to her that the loneliness she felt because of the family dysfunction had very little to do with her being an only child and a whole lot to do with her mental state. It is extremely possible to feel lonley in a crowd of a million people. So where does that leave her now?
Personally, I think the woman is in over her head and for all of the wrong reasons. I hope, for the sake of her children, that she gets some mental health counseling in addition to the hands on help she is going to need with those children in the years to come.
8 comments:
I don't know the whole story. All I know is what I've read on a few blogs. The whole thing kind of pisses me off, truth be told. I agree it's a wonderful thing to be able to have as many children as you want, or don't want. Of course, like you said, I'm thankful for the CHOICE. I've never been put in a situation such as abortion, adoption, or fertility treatments, so I can't say what I would do. All I know is that 14 children is a bit much, in my lil ole opinion. I can't imagine her being able to give those children the attention they need. Especially the special needs children. Her reasons scare me, also. UHG I'm going off about this on YOUR blog, SORRY! I'm done now..I'll step down off my soap box and give it to someone who actually has an intelligent word or two to say ;o)
There is so much in that Woman's story that just plain sounds 'weird'. All I know is I have 3 kids and a hubby and that is a lot of work. I can't imagine 14, with no extra help! Actually I can't imagine 14 with a Hubby either?
One thing I have learned after having twins and then one is that you really miss a lot when there is more than one.
I am still wondering about the mental stability of that woman? I just feel for all those children.
OK, so don't shoot me, but I gave you another award. BUT this one doesn't have a meme with it. So it's really easy ;o) Have a GREAT day!
I could not agree more! I feel bad for those children!
Hi from ICLW! I agree with much of what you said. The woman needs help. She obviously had mental health issues way before this.
I also read below and I totally agree with number 3. I was killing myself while we were dating to get my MIL to like me. I realize it doesn't matter what she thinks and I have finally started to put my foot down. Helpful with a baby on the way.
I totally agree with you. Those poor kids...and she's completely deluded herself to thinking she's being unselfish. *sigh*
What really bugs me are the interviewers and article writers and such who keep referring to "implanting embryos". Honestly, no doctor can implant embryos! ICLW
Here from ICLW.
You know, that comment stuck with me, too. How good of a mother can she ultimately be if she is expects her children to fill a need to not be lonely? What, does that mean they can never leave her? She won't be happy unless they are always dependent on her? It is really sad.
I agree that she needs some sort of mental health intervention--for the sake of the children.
Women should have the right to choose - but to choose to put your future children's lives at risk - you're right it does ask some questions.
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