Touching the Third Rail, part 2

cappyprincess - It sounds like you believe that our babies died because we didn't pray hard enough, we needed to learn a lesson, or we needed to have our faith tested. I am not trying to be confrontational, but doesn't that mean that god specifically chooses the babies that die? Why would you want to believe in that kind of a god? I am just glad that I have always been an atheist. Otherwise, I would be one pissed off and confused lady by now.

There is always a risk in trying to put a simple answer to a not so simple question.

Please let me be clear that no one "deserves" to have their baby(ies) die. I know only too well the heartache involved in loving and losing angel babies.

Nor do I believe that Heavenly Father allows our babies to die in order to teach us a lesson. Heavenly Father is a God of love and He is not malicious with His plan for our lives.

It does seem that we are tested to and beyond our limits at times. But if we are to have faith in Heavenly Father and His promises, that means to have faith at all times. Sometimes that's hard because I cannot begin to count the number of prayers that have been answered in ways other than I desired. If He loves me, why wouldn't He listen to me? Why wouldn't He give me what I want? It's those moments He is hoping I will have the faith to trust that He knows best.

I spent a lot of time being angry about lost children. And one day I had an epiphany. We're taught that before we came Earth to gain our physical bodies we lived as spirit children in a pre-mortal world with our Heavenly Father. In our pre-mortal life we were taught many things and prepared for our mortal life. Our mortal existence was necessary to receive our physical body, the body created in his likeness. Without a physical body, we would be unable to return to live with Heavenly Father, to be exalted and live as eternal families. While we are here on Earth, we do not remember our pre-mortal life And I find comfort in knowing that even though I was not able to hold and loves those babies in this life, that I may have the opportunity to do so after I leave this earth because those babies were send here and did gain their physical body. And perhaps their plan, their purpose in life, was to help me understand Heavenly Father's plan to return to him rather than to be raised by me. I still grieve their loss but feel blessed to know that Heavenly Father trusted in me enough to believe that I could provide these spirits with their physical body and that I could cope with knowing I would not raise these babies. It's my way of finding peace with the situation, and not everyone will agree.

I understand all too well that it's easy to question and to hate God when we suffer loss. I understand that not everyone has the same views of premortal life or immortal life. And I certainly understand that life doesn't always seem fair. But more than anything, I understand that Heavenly Father loves us. He loves me. He loves you. There is nothing we can do that will change the fact that He loves us and wants us to return to Him. And because He loves me, I know that I can petition Him in prayer for all of those who struggle with loss and infertility, with difficult pregnancies, with children who have special needs, even if that person is me. I hope for good results, I pray for good results, I have faith in His infinite wisdom and I petition for strength and courage for all in all circumstances.

Heavenly Father does not cause bad things to happen to us. He doesn't punish us for not praying hard enough. He doesn't take our children to teach us a lesson. And he doesn't make babies die to challenge our faith.

There are pages upon pages of information about pre-mortal and immortal life as taught in the scriptures. It is impossible for me to summarize them in just a few paragraphs, but please know that nothing I believe and nothing I've been taught in anyway shape or form remotely resembles the notion that babies deserve to die.

This reference may help explain some of these concepts better than I have.